Welcome to my journal ! I will try to update this as often as i can !

Hello friends !!

It's been a really long time since I updated this site , and I'm sorry !!

But most importantly , yesterday was my birthday ! I'm 17 now :) I feel really old ! I still feel like time is stuck in a loop . I'm trying really hard to get out of that loop , but it's really hard sometimes >//<

My birthday was boring , as always . But I watched a really beautiful movie :) It was called '' All about Lily Chou-Chou '' . A beautiful , yet heartbreaking movie . I recommend you watch it if you want a different kind of movie :)

I hope you'll enjoy it , if you really watch it

I'm trying to get back on track , updating my site more , since I have all this free time. Looks like we can't get out of the house because of this virus outbreak . Just remember to stay safe ! Wash your hands , all that stuff !!

I promise I'll work harder so I could finally finish this site !! It's been like a year since I'm here .. ( ̄▽ ̄)

For now , here are some pictures from the movie I watched yesterday . I really liked the landscapes.

04/04/2020 ( My birthday is on the 3rd of april hehe )

Rest well , you beautiful angel

You didn't deserve such a horrible and painful death . You were everything for me

It hurts to say goodbye , but maybe now you feel better and happier .

Maybe you are in a better place now .

I know you're waiting for me , right around the corner~


Happy birthday Eli Ayase <3

Also,sorry 4 the inactivity , school started and it sucks // But I'll be sure to update some more things !!

10/21/2019 ♡



i hate this so much im never getting out of the house again no one cares i do not care i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it

there is no reason to go out this isn't even real it's just an optical illusion there is literally no reason to leave your house

i will spend my time in the backrooms

i hate it


My dissociation is getting worse and worse ; i feel disconnected from my body and from what I'm seeing . I've been dreaming a lot , I can't tell the difference between my dreams and reality

I'm aware of my breathing , blinking, touching,everything ; it is troublesome . I feel like I'm missing out on everything,like I'm not even here , not even real. Like im in a simulator//

But I know I'm not alone , I'm not myself . I never was ; there's always a chilling sensation at the back of my head,like somebody is watching me . Who is it ? I always turn my head. Who is it?

I can't see it. You can't see it. But there's always someone there ; the voice in your head , the sensation at the back of your head , the impulsive heart beats you get from time to time . You are never alone ; You aren't yourself

One day she will go away ; or maybe she will take control over things,over everything I've achieved until now.

I know I'm not imagining things . If I we're imagining things , I wouldn't have these feelings and perceptions //

Maybe things will get better ?